Hi! New day… new devlog?

So, I mentioned, in the first devlog, that I wanted to write another one to develop the process behind the game and the characters a bit. Well: this is said devlog, so let’s get started!

PART 1: How did I get this idea?

Good question myself! So, actually, this game wasn’t supposed to take form in the way you see today. Originally, this game was supposed to be… a Ren’Py tutorial!

Indeed, those who have been following me for a few months now must know the following: I want the indie VN industry to take more space in France (yes, I’m French, and yes, I hate France, and no, it’s not worse than the US).

So, I wanted to make a series of videos in French teaching how to create a basic VN with Ren’Py (so, without GUI personalisation, and nothing too fancy, just basic stuff to get started) and I brainstormed a little story I could do which would be good. After all, my point was the following: you don’t need to be an artist or a programmer to make a good story! So, I wanted to use only free assets etc. to show it is possible to make VNs without money or skills such as art, programming, GUI design etc.

So, I came up with the story of two childhood friends who were separated years ago and who had to reconnect. The childhood friend was named Peter, and the protagonist… Wendy. Yes, it was on the nose.

How would they reconnect? Both of them, Peter and Wendy, got accepted to the prestigious Britechester Academy (yes, Britechester is a reference to The Sims 4 university expansion pack, which is by the way infinitely better than the high school pack, I’m sorry, I said it, High School Years sucks and is the worst EP) and met again. Wendy felt bitter and had to uncover the reasons behind her friend’s disappearance (which were similar to those Peter had in game) before being friends again.

And that was it. A cute friendship story, and you must have noticed something: where’s the romance?

Well, I do think that, even in its current state, When The Wind Blew You Away is a game that focuses a lot on friendship, despite having romance. But to be fair, if I had to make a fully-romantic game, I wouldn’t go the way I did for this game (My Stardust Lover, for example, for which I showed the love interests in the previous devlog, is what I’d call a fully romantic game, but spoilers).

So, that was how I got the idea, although things changed a bit (and I’ll detail changes further regarding the characters), but now, you might wonder…

PART 2: Why did you decide to use it for otome jam?

Well, I wanted to take part in otome jam this year and was looking for an idea. For those who played my other games, you must have realised something: When The Wind Blew You Away is way softer and more tender than anything I wrote before. My stories tend to be way more dramatic and heart-wrenching. I wanted to try something like that for otome jam. Maybe not something as terrible as what I did for NaNoRenO with High School Lolita - my crushing love story (a 16+ game of mine about a high schooler engaging into a relationship with her literature teacher and slowly realising she’s being abused), but definitely something which resembles my game more.

But I talked with a friend of mine who told me: “Well, your games are always so sad! Why don’t you try to make a cute story for once?” and somehow, the love story between a shojo protagonist and a slice of bacon wasn’t cute enough for her, so I accepted the challenge and decided to make a cute story for otome jam.

Also, remember this French tutorial idea? Well… I found the story had a lot of potential and it felt like a waste to use it for a Ren’Py tutorial, so I wasn’t sure yet, but part of me wanted to use it for a “real game” (not customising the GUI and using free assets for sprites don’t make your game any less “real” or “valid” than a fully-customised one, but by that, I mean a game in which I use everything I know of Ren’Py).

And then, bam, genius idea (okay I’m exaggerating): combine both. This story of childhood friends was a bittersweet but overall cute one and I just had to make it a friends-to-lovers story! I especially love the childhood friend trope so it had to be it!

Then, I brainstormed ideas and had to rewrite a bit Peter to make him more than a childhood friend: he had to become a love interest and therefore to be charming… but let’s talk about the characters now!

PART 3: Writing these characters.

So, although I just mentioned Peter, let’s talk first about Wend-erm! Amanda!

Originally, the game was more star-themed: after all, to reach Neverland, you have to follow the second-star on the right. So, yes: the story was Peter Pan-themed because it revolved around childhood friends. Peter was this ideal figure from childhood Wendy had to reconnect with to find the pleasures of friendship (or love, since it became an otome game somehow). Quickly, Wendy was renamed Amanda to be less on the nose and because, in the meantime, Peter started to get a passion for trees (Amanda comes from Almond, which grows on trees… tah-dah…), but the theme stayed the same…

Before…

Before…

THE WIND™!

Wind was an excellent theme for this game! Wind blowing away, wind bringing things back, wind wafting through tree leaves, winds of love making hearts pulsate… I could use it everywhere!!!!!!

(but you were supposed to talk about amanda not the wind although they are basically the same thing now)

Ah right, thank me for keeping me on track (I’m welcome!). So, Amanda was conceived as opposition to Chloé (the protagonist of High School Lolita, which I mentioned above).

Chloé is indeed bullied by her classmates in the events prior to the game and is an outcast: she doesn’t have friends and doesn’t want to connect with her classmates because she has a profound soul, and thinks they’re all more shallow than her. Long story short, and I swear it’s better in-game, but Chloé… is not like other girls. But more than that, once she engages into her relationship with her teacher, she needs to prove she’s not like them, that she’s more mature, to ease her predator’s guilt. But well, let’s keep the gruesome details for an HSL-devlog.

Amanda, so, is opposite: Amanda wants to blend-in. If anything, she wants to be like other girls. I drew this tiny sketch opposing the both a while ago, to summarise it:

Amanda, as a child, was very close to Peter. He was the one who allowed her to be fun and quirky, to express her wildest ideas and let her show interest in random things. But when Peter left, Amanda couldn’t bear being alone and needed to fit in with others: she therefore decided to get rid of everything specific to her to connect more easily with others.

Not that she could never have made friends though… but that’s what she believes. But as a consequence, her connections with others are shallow: and not because of others, but because of her.

This is what her interactions with Kiara and Julie (“Classmate 1” and “Classmate 2”) were supposed to show: while these two girls are genuine (well, Julie is a closeted lesbian performing finding all boys cute to convince herself she’s not, but that’s another story for another time) in their interactions with Amanda, she isn’t. Therefore, despite trying her best to fit in with others… she feels very lonely in the end and as lonely as Chloé. That was the spirit despite her slightly-Y2K design: she had to look a bit nostalgic, because, ever since Peter left, she’s been unable to have deeper connections.

And when Peter comes back… she’s angry. She feels like he wronged her years ago, although it doesn’t make sense to pretend Peter should take accountability for moving out without telling her as a seven-year-old. And she gets cold with him: because she’s afraid he leaves again, without telling her, leaving her alone and lost when she finally opens up.

So, I had to shape Peter to make him a perfect love interest for Amanda, and a charming love interest overall.

And Peter was complicated to make charming because… well, I feel like most love interests appear charming because they’re “hot” or “seductive”... Peter is a minor, so he had to appear charming without being “attractive” to an adult audience.

The answer felt natural: Peter had to be endearing. He had to be relatable, he had to sound authentic, he had to be the kind of person you’d grow attached to in real-life. Peter was written at first as a flirt, and it was at this moment I abandoned the idea and he became an introverted and shy bookworm.

But of course, Peter isn’t a pet, so I wanted to develop his character. He developed an interest for trees, but also became the type to know a lot of random things about a lot of random stuff because I figured he would be one to have hyperfixations… At this moment, it struck me: Peter could be autistic.

I have been wanting to write a story involving autistic characters for a while, and I felt like it would be a good occasion. But I got SO WORRIED.

Indeed, I don’t think I’m autistic myself. Well, time for some story time:

I suffered from mutism as a child, and didn’t speak before I was 5. My mother got worried (especially since all my siblings started to talk quite early, around 10 months old) and brought me to see a lot of experts. She wanted to see, amongst other tests, if I were autistic: after the tests, I’ve been diagnosed with HPI instead. Yet, I know that a lot of people diagnosed with HPI discover they are on the spectrum years later. I also know that most my autistic friends are sure I am too, but to be honest… I don’t recognise myself that much in the symptoms??? So perhaps I am autistic and wasn't diagnosed properly, perhaps I’m not, but I don’t identify on the spectrum since I don’t recognise myself in most of the symptoms.

So, I was afraid of misrepresenting autism, that Peter would appear offensive. Stereotypical. And I was afraid that I would do the opposite of what I wanted to do.

And while I was having these fears and doubts, Twitter was roasting The Good Doctor for misrepresenting autism (I haven’t watched the show, so I don’t have any opinion on the matter). I was so worried I would pull another “I am a surgeon, Dr. Han”, so yeah…

I even hesitated to keep it a secret. To make Peter “autistic-coded”, to leave his autism up to interpretation. But then, I remember a video I saw of Jeremy Andrew Devis on instagram (could only find the tiktok link, sorry) about the difference of having autistic-coded characters and actual autistic characters. And I didn’t want Peter to be half-a-representation. I wanted him to be an actual representation, because I wanted my autistic friends and players to feel seen and acknowledged.

So I asked friends on the spectrum around me to give my script a look, to make sure everything was alright… and they told me they found Peter endearing and relatable. They were also happy that Peter was getting diagnosed, because it showed that getting the diagnosis takes time and isn’t automatic, so they felt their (past) struggles seen. Phew!

Also, I can’t ignore the feedback I received on it: some people told me they felt represented, that Peter’s struggles moved them (sometimes to tears) just because it was theirs. This was the most beautiful feedback I could have gotten, so thank you.

But, of course, Peter’s whole point isn’t to be autistic, he’s an actual person, and I even took a bit from me: for example, I had the idea to give Peter a stammer because I had one as a child (since I spoke late, although all children who speak late don’t stutter) and had to go to the speech therapist every Friday morning. His passion for trees is inspired by a guy I was talking with and who shared with me his passion about cacti, which I found very interesting and adorable. And of course, Peter had a past, but we’ll see that later.

Peter also had to be an ideal love interest for Amanda, so they had to be kind-of opposite but the same at the core. Amanda hides her specificities and twists her own expectations of relationships to fit in; Peter has similar specificities (although Amanda isn’t autistic) but chooses instead to be fully himself, preferring to be alone rather than surrounded by people who will never see him for who he truly is. So, deep down, Amanda finds him inspiring: she realises he’s what she could have become if she didn’t try that hard to fit in. And so, more than a shy bookworm, Peter became a peaceful character (and this opposition between a troubled Amanda and a peaceful Peter was the idea behind the main menu art, by the way!).

Also, Peter doesn’t hesitate to show who he truly is to Amanda: that’s the point of the corn-dog bonus scene. He’s not trying to please her, he’s just showing her who he is, to encourage her to show her her true colours.

Moreover, they have this special connection, from childhood, which allows them to speak from soul to soul (and it was quite funny and endearing to mix their interests for true crime and trees).

SPOILER PART OF THE DEVLOG

But of course, Amanda’s core problem was about Peter leaving her alone years ago. So she had to make sure Peter would never leave her like he did years ago. And as a writer, I had to give him the best reason to move out without telling Amanda: he wasn’t able to do so.

Child abuse is a topic I’ve been wanting to tackle for a long time and the treatment I have of it in this game isn’t really extensive. Same with adoptive families: this is a theme I’ve been wanting to mention, because it’s often overlooked, and it felt good to give Peter parents who didn’t try to force him into a box he never fitted in.

This is indeed the reason Peter was abused: since he was a child with “special needs”, everything had to be because of these needs, and Peter had to learn to temper them. The bedroom scene is revealing: for what is just a child being clumsy, he almost has a panic attack (not as intense as the other panic attacks I have written in the past, but this game is 10+). That’s because, at home, he gets in trouble for spilling things on accident; and while his parents wouldn’t have mentioned it if Peter were neurotypical, he isn’t, and so they blame everything on this thing separating Peter from the child they dreamed to have: autism. So yes, it’s kinda dark, and you understand why the game doesn’t develop too much on it: psychophobia leading to abuse is a great theme for a 13+ game (or even a 16+, depending on how you tackle it), but I find it a bit too hard for a 10+ one.

END OF SPOILER PART

In the end, that’s it for these characters who really grow on me… I see Peter as a little brother, Amanda’s character arc touches me a lot, and I’m glad most players I received feedback from could find an echo in it.

And I love them so much that… I’m officially working on a sequel! I’ve already wanted to work on the sequel during this game’s development, but the idea is sticking with me, so it will happen. I just shared two concept arts of Peter and Amanda as 22-yo young adults:

And a placeholder scene to help me figure out their personalities (I tend to do that for longer-term projects). Be aware, the sequel is meant to be 13+, and, in particular, this excerpt contains slightly suggestive humour:

I’ll update you guys about the development of the sequel in future devlogs, but I hope you're as enthused as I am! For now, toodles!