High School Lolita - my crushing love story

OK, you didn’t lie, this was incredible and crushing in so many regards, I’m a complete utter wreck here….
Thank you for making this VN, your writing here was indeed just stellar, I’m floored.

You brought so much realism and nuance to both Chloé and Matthieu’s “relationship”. It felt very, very real and entirely believable all throughout, it’s incredible how well you pulled it off.

All the classic lit references elevated the story so much for me. So many layers to them! The fact that it starts as a very genuine bond regarding literature —it got off-track very fast, there were many flashing, orange, then red lights along the path, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand Chloé’s initial drive to connect with someone you admire through books. It hurts all the more to see the dark path it would take (not by her own fault, of course, Matthieu’s failure to stop at every additional step remains the most critical failure, Chloé was in such a vulnerable position to begin with).
Then the fact that Matthieu both romanticised some of these literary discussions, but at the end of the day, couldn’t do the adult thing and face what Lolita really said about him. So infuriating! He kept knowing what he was really doing while being unable, or unwilling to stop himself at each juncture. That was so sadly realistic, and such an honest portrayal of what abuse can be like.

You really, really nailed the staging and sound design too, from Matthieu’s emotional breakdown expressions, to the sense of horror/excitement/denial during the intimate scenes with Chloé. It was chilling, intense, incredibly immersive.

I’ve been reading some of your Waterlily on the Froth devlogs, and they were really interesting as well, especially the ones where you compare the setups of both stories, and the psychology of their respective characters, so thanks for them as well! Waterlily sounds like it will be such a special project again, can’t wait for it!
There’s lots more I’d love to say and have to think about, but yeah, thank you, I’ll be thinking about this story a lot.

(Also don’t feel like you have to respond quickly or at all if you’re doing O2A2 again this year lol, enjoy the game jam)

the UI, graphic effects, and sound design were incredible, they really pull you into the story and made me feel scared and fucked up when things were getting real lol, like i was having palpitations over here over these effects, it was awesome .

I started it thinking Matthieu was kinda cool, which made me suspicious of his intentions. Like, of course I already knew what would happen lol, but that only made him seem more suspicious, like he Must have been faking. But the fact that he wasn't actually just a conniving freak trying to trick Chloe with his kindness almost lured me into a false sense of security, it made it easy to see how she could think of him as a safe person. He quickly falls apart for me, though and by like the five thousandth mental breakdown I've had enough of this dude!! I'm like GOD he's so annoying!! Like, not to be cruel but I got so irritated by him that him being on the roof acting a fool like that just had me like "God just jump already then and leave that poor baby alone!!" The nerve of this bozo!!!

His nonsense reminded me of all the times I would see kids online talking about having to comfort grown adults out of mental breakdowns. Even if he didn't want to be a bad person or a groomer, even if Chloe could consent, he shouldnt have been dating ANYONE lmao that's probably why he wasn't before!

Chloe is a really well done protagonist and say it with all the love in my heart that I feel like she's exactly the type of little adorable nerd who would be convinced she's mature lol She's smart, incredibly smart, and composed. I like that she's so active in trying to maintain the relationship since many people sadly believe that the victim has to be passively preyed on. Even if in her head she wants this relationship it's clear she's way in over her head and she can't see all the other glaring red flags. Like, she didn't see an issue at first because she was so active, which fair, she felt it was her decision, why would she see a problem there? But she also didn't realize that she shouldnt have to feel like she has to "prove" herself and impress him. but then she also didn't realize how fucked up it was that she was playing therapist for this extremely self-centered and emotionally volatile man. She didn't realize that having to hide what was going on from everyone in of itself was an extremely unsafe position to be in because that left him as the only person she could rely on.
 

anyways i liked it, and I think it really shows how like, self-centered abusers are in a very nuanced way. (not just groomers but other abusive relationships too both romantic and platonic) they don't always twirl mustaches and plot all the ways theyre gonna take advantage of people. Like they sometimes are kind people. I think Matthieu was kind at first but he was also selfish, he made everything about himself and his own feelings and he didn't try to actually improve. Which was why he was so goddamn irritating to watch lmaoo!

This was very well-written! For such a heavy and uncomfortable topic, I think it's impressive you pulled it off so well. Both Chloe and Matthieu felt very 'real', and I liked how Matthieu wasn't presented as some cackling villain sterotype with no moral scruples. It felt much more realistic that he was a bit hesitant about everything (or was he? It does feel like he was leading Chloe on, but then lost his nerve when things got 'too real' and he started to think about the irl consequences), and he was grappling with his own self-doubt (but, then again, he grapples with his doubts in such an overblown and dramatic way it guilts Chloe into wanting to console him, when isn't fair when she's so much younger than he is...)

Aah, this was very good. The characters are so nuanced, and there are multiple ways to read their behaviour. I also imagine some of Matthieu's disgust towards Lolita comes from relating a little too much to the protagonist, so it hits too close to home? It does make his hatred feel rather ironic haha

And I felt so many feelings for Chloe. She's in way over head head but doesn't realise it until it's too late. Her desperate desire to prove she's 'mature enough' feels very relatable in an uncomfortable way. I also think being able to make choices for her in the narrative works really well, since it highlights just how divided and confused she is. The choices feel very natural as a result and make her indecision/uncertainty feel more well-realised than if this had been a linear story.

Also, major props for the UI. I love the wax crayon-ish vibe the UI has, and the sort of 'cutesy' art style. It might not seem appropriate for such a dark story at a glance, but I think it works unsettlingly well when you consider Chloe is constantly insisting she's an adult in the story; she's mature; she knows what she wants. She says it over and over again, but the story is told from her POV, and the cute/more 'childish' UI elements and the art style really serve to undercut all of these things she keeps trying to tell herself.

Also got to love all of Chloe's talks about classic lit. It comes across that she is, indeed, a very well read teen, which is probably why she thinks she's mature enough to handle a relationship like this (and I think Matthieu also encourages her to think she's oh-so-mature b/c of her literary tastes too, so he weaponises it against her). It's a nice detail to add to her character.

Anyway, this was a painfully honest VN which feels very heartfelt. Thank you for creating it!

This game surprised me... It's much better than I expected!!! I love the storytelling and all the visual effects; they really contribute to the overall atmosphere of the story.

The relationship between Matthieu and Chloe is very interesting... It feels like a reversed version of a typical teacher-student relationship, but at the same time, it includes all the factors people need to face during this kind of unhealthy experience... Damn, so good...

Good work!!!!!!!!

I wanted to post a long-form comment/review because I had a lot of thoughts on this, but then I would postpone writing that out even more, so here's the summary version of it.

This is a very thought-provoking VN on a difficult subject material and handles it with care. I like to look at how VNs are structured, what choices do and what endings you get from them.

What I appreciate in this VN is the element of inevitability: the format is that it mainly has one consistent flow for the main story, but your choices lead to a different finale and epilogue showing a snippet of Chloe's life as an adult. Regardless of Chloe how feels towards her teacher, whether she as a teenager is 'blind' to the statutory rape or she is fully aware that she is uncomfortable with the inappropriateness, it has the message that both are equally valid reactions to abuse and it avoids any form of victim blaming. Very often I see the former getting lambasted as someone being stupid for not realising, because 'if they acted differently, every bad thing would be avoided', when it's the abuser who should get all blame.

Stylistically I enjoy the art style a lot and the visual effects that make you very uncomfortable when it gets to the dark scenes.

Small note: Lucie's clown nose is my favourite sprite!

Oh god.... I am a mess (if someone wants to read the reviews before playing, please play if you can handle the content mentioned, if not feel free to keep reading.)

So I am a wreck, in a good way of course, content like this is never supposed to be taken lightly. I think what makes this game extra upsetting is how beautifully it's presented. Seeing out of a young girl in love eyes.

I hate Matthieu, not that it's a hot take or anything. But I hate how real he felt. Hate how handsome he is, how charming and intelligent he seems. How he starts off so caring, and is so aware of his failings, and how even so he keeps going. It's the worst kind of evil, to know you're doing wrong and never stopping.

I hate how he felt the need to be the victim, and be so dramatic, and to make himself some sort of martyr, this tragic figure. How pretentious he was with art, how much of a hypocrite he was. I hate how truly human he was.

I hate how I still cared and cried even after he died.

So the scene where he kills himself, I identified with Chloe so much, how she was so mad at him, how she couldn't even feel sad- because it would have been so easy to walk away. And yet he just had to try, he just had to keep pushing.

Like Chloe, I also had a 26 year old man talk to me when I was working as 17 year old turning 18 soon, graduating high school, and how he said 'we could be something, if I was just 18." even if he never did what Matthieu did, was it any better? Were his thoughts any cleaner, and in that same vein- were his hands  have any less blood.

I don't think so, I don't know the thoughts in that man's head. He knew it was wrong, and he kept going despite it. And to add to it, he made me care about him, he made me feel like I needed to grow up. To throw away something as precious as childhood innocence in favor of his favor.

I will say, I only was able to make the reluctant choices, I couldn't bring myself to play the role of love stricken teenager, because I'm not anymore I am a weak sensitive adult, and I couldn't meet the game halfway, it just hits a bit too close. So I apologize if I missed anything significant, but I'm just not strong enough. I will not push.

I'm so glad that Chloe ends up helping other victims. The last two scenes of the game were incredible, and the build up to it was like watching a plane crash, you knew what was to come but you couldn't look away.

I adore so many lines, namely that villains weren't these monsters hiding themselves away, they were real people capable of kindness and complex thoughts. But that's what makes them so much scarier.

I want to say Chloe was mature, but that never made her an adult, she understood so much despite not understanding anything. She knew deep down that it was wrong, that this man she loved was something broken and she loved him despite it. She is worthy of love, she deserved to bloom. Getting a glance of her at the very end confirms this. She's so much more beautiful as a result of her struggle. She's so inspiring and my heart is happy for her, happy that it wasn't worse, not to invalidate her struggle but just, I'm glad...

This story opens up the door for so much discussion, so much I'm sure I will talk to you about. This is like the classic literature they made so much reference to.

It's going to be stuck in my head for awhile. I just want to say you are so brave for writing this, for getting in the head of such a monster, even for a bit. There's so much beauty and charm despite it.

The music was killing me, you chose it well. Both the soft plucky piano tracks, and the more hellish decompressed sounds. I love the UI changes to something horrific during the closeness between Matthieu and Chloe. I admire Lucie and Bastien for being little spots of light in Chloe's life, and for being there for her even when she was so resistant.

This game horrified me and delighted me. I know how beautiful I once felt those moments were as a teenager, and how tainted and gross they look now. I have no doubt that Chloe' feels similarly. I hope to also help someone in someway.

This game scares me because stories like this are happening now, and I hope with all my heart that if a young someone stumbles upon this game, and they are going through something similar, that they realize what's going on and seek help.

I thank you Chime for writing this, I am a mess, but I am glad I engaged with it. I'm glad I jumped in the deep end so to speak, and I am so glad I didn't record mysself playing it (thank you Chatter) (Though I will for the other games dw) I'm glad you are so talented a writer, and intelligent and delicate with such a taboo topic. I'm glad you handled it with care, and delivered it with grace.

If you ever have doubts in regards to your writing, you've done good work! You've written a story worth telling, and I will forever sing it's praises.

-Joy (though not so joyful atm lmaoooo)

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHhHhHH

  Oh my gosh this was a rollercoaster of emotions for sure. I'm pretty sure it wasn't the intended effect, but I started crying after a few minutes. I have been in a similar situation to Chloe, albeit much younger, and, while our experiences where fairly different I connected with her as a character. There is no "perfect victim" because there is no perfect person. As such, people who want to blame the victim will always find something to pick at. While Chloe was pushy at times, she was not the one who initiated the relationship, nor did she truly have any power in the relationship. She constantly felt like she had to measure up to expectations of her "maturity", and while it may seem obvious to anyone outside of the relationship that it was toxic and doomed from the start, Chloe was being groomed. A major part of grooming is the distorted worldview the groomer feeds the victim. She was given a point of view where Matthieu was not in the wrong, society was. 

Matthieu was an absolute trainwreck of a human being. Every time I almost fell for his self-pity routine, he would double down and continue with the behaviors he claimed were vile and rotten.  After a certain point his breakdowns also felt like they were less genuine and more manipulative. Kinda like he just wanted to be reassured that he wasn't doing something immoral.  He is absolutely at fault in the situation, not only by making the first move, but by not firmly setting boundaries with Chole (e.g. You're a child, I am not interested.) However I do appreciate that he seemed normal on the surface. Had I not known what this game was about I probably wouldn't have suspected him until later in the story. Most of the people who do prey on children are fairly ordinary, at least, most wouldn't be suspected of pedophilia/ephebophilia.

I really liked the GUI. The way it changed depending on the situation created an unsettling atmosphere. The music also helped create the mood, so it was easy to get into scenes.  Along with the technical aspects of the game, the writing flowed well. the dialogue felt natural and the characters fit nicely into the story. However, I do have one question. Is Bastien a member of the LGBTQ+ community? I know it was mentioned that he was bullied because people thought he was, but I'm not entirely sure.

Should anyone be heading into this story, be prepared to take at least a few breaks. The subject material is heavy, but it was written with accuracy and poise. I started crying before things really got bad, but I'm a crybaby, so take that with a grain of salt. 

Thank you for an amazing game. This was truly handled with grace, which I deeply appreciate. I apologize for not wording this well, I may edit this later, but I have a headache after crying lmao. 

OK I AM FINALLY WRITING MY REVIEW OF THIS.

I finished it yesterday actually but let it continue sitting with me for a while so I could collect more of my thoughts.

I will echo perhaps what others have said first in that indeed this game is not for everyone -- it gets quite intense at times and goes to some dark places and overall is just a very weighty topic. I personally had to take multiple breaks and leave it for a bit when one particular scene got to be Quite a Lot. THAT BEING SAID. The way the themes and heavy stuff is handled is incredibly well done. Like. There's no ifs, ands, or buts about the twistedness of what's happening but also the reality?? That stuff like this really does happen?? And how scary it can be?? Like, a big part of the theme (going into mild spoilers here) is that it isn't always -- and, in fact, usually ISN'T -- a "monster," an "evil, horrible person," or a "villain" that ends up doing these horrible things. It's just an ordinary person. Which is what makes it all the more scary because you can't possibly know or guess who might have thoughts like this or allow something like this to happen.

That is really what I felt about Matthieu. He made me. Very uncomfortable. BECAUSE. He reminded me of so many similar types of people I've known in the past. And it's also probably why it started to make me personally feel so uncomfortable because I've been in a few situations with similar dynamics of a person in power that I felt uncomfortable around in the way they were talking to me or treating me. That was supposed to be someone I could trust, like a doctor, but from whom I felt an uncomfortable gaze or vibe from. And even though in these experiences from my life I wasn't as young as Chloe, it still sent me back and made a lot of those uncomfortable feelings bubble back up to the surface.

Anyway. All this to say that, go in with caution and give yourself a lot of breaks! But also go in knowing that this is a story that is handled with a lot of care and written very well and that the ending will leave you with some hope and resolution  despite everything that happened.

Mmmm I should actually talk more about the actual game content now LOL I already talked generally about how the writing was quite well done. It was incredibly realistic in how things between with Chloe and Matthieu (the Instagram part -- SO REAL GOD. I got personally anxious at that part because I could relate to that fear of Chloe's so much lakdjfld). I felt myself so angry throughout so much of it. I could feel Chloe's helplessness deep in my gut -- that feeling of not knowing what to do, but also wanting so desperately to be accepted and loved despite not understanding the situation she's in. I wanted to scream so much at Matthieu GOD. LIKE. THE FACT. THE FACT THAT HE WOULD JUST KEEP... KEEP LEADING HER ON... KEEP LETTING THESE THINGS HAPPEN AND FOR THEM TO BE IN THESE SITUATIONS. And then he goes on to attack himself for what he's done, which only then makes Chloe feel even worse and trying to make things better GOD I UNDERSTAND THAT SO WELL AND I FELT SO AWFUL AND HELPLESS. Because Matthieu has the power here. He's the one that should have never let any of these situations even come remotely close to happening?? And though he makes a big "show" of feeling guilty and horrible, he still just lets them keep happening?? God. Yeah, I wanted to shout at the screen quite a bit.

I thought the way you handled the almost... I don't know how to describe it... "glitchy" music? The like, atonal glitch-sounding notes that float in whenever Chloe is feeling uncomfortable and in over her head but yet can't stop things? That was so well done. Along with the way the background shifts and becomes glitchy and dark. It was so creepy tbh. And it really hammered in Chloe's feelings mixed with my own personal feelings all the more to make it really effective at unsettling me to the core. Also the feeling of sheer isolation that overcomes Chloe throughout the story -- that she even abandons her friends because her whole life becomes about Matthieu and keeping people from finding out or not wanting to be a bother to Matthieu, etc. It was such a great way of showing how deep Chloe was sinking into this world and why she became so dependent on Matthieu and explaining also the way she kept pushing him, because in her head, this was everything. He was everything. Because she's only a high schooler and doesn't have the emotional capacity to handle something like this.

I really loved how you did the UI in general. It has this very quaint, almost picture-book-esque quality to it in a way, couple with your illustrations that have this lovely painterly quality to them. It came together so well and really fit the vibe surprisingly, I'm not sure how to describe it lakdjfad

GUH.

Anyway, this is getting way way too long at this point. But I hope I was able to get everything across that I wanted to say. I can't say that I "enjoyed" this LOL Because it really did make me quite uncomfortable at times. But I'm glad that I played it. And I think it's incredibly well done and a really important look into this "trope" if you can even call it as such. Not that it should be a "trope." Because it's a real thing that happens and it's awful. This was such an ambitious dive into examining this from an unsettling POV to really get into our skin and make us feel things and you did a fantastic job with it.

This was a really interesting spin on the original "Lolita!" If anyone's thinking about playing it and can handle the content, I recommend it. It's a nuanced and well-written look at the relationship between an adult and a minor from the minor's perspective (instead of the adult, or an unrelated third party). Both of the characters are well-written, each with their own insecurities that leads them into their twisted relationship; I found Chloe to be particularly well-written, and I think that her issues are relatable to a lot of teenage girls. Without spoilers, I think that the endings (both of them) are appropriate and generally leave you with a feeling of hope and healing, though with a bittersweet tone. The game was very thoughtfully constructed, and the choices regarding the GUI, backgrounds, and sprite styles all serve to reflect the story being told. Overall, I'm really impressed with how cohesive the entire game is and the thoughtfulness put into the storytelling! 

Okay, so that was really something. I didn't expect it to play out the way it did. 🤔

But I liked how you handled this (very weighty) subject. The characters are believable, they have clear motivations for acting the way they do, and the story feels pretty grounded in reality. I could see it happen in real-life circumstances.

Now, Matthieu is a total trainwreck. He acts all lovey-dovey one second and feels terribly guilty the next. I even felt bad for him for a bit there. But! Ultimately, his guilt means little since he won't do anything about it. He lets this child manipulate him when he should know better and just end things with her. Does that make him a monster? I'm not sure. It seems that he's not mentally well overall so there might be more factors at play there. (which doesn't excuse him in the slightest, but still)

And Chloe. Chloe is obviously the victim here but that doesn't mean she's a perfect little angel either. She claims to be mature and looks down on her peers but the way she acts about this relationship only proves otherwise. She even manipulates Matthieu to get her way. (which, again, he shouldn't fall for since he's an adult) But I think in that, you captured the way teens think about love and relationships; as if it's the be-all, end-all of their lives.

(Also, Lucie is a ray of sunshine and should be protected at all costs.)

All in all, the game is pretty heavy but I'm glad that it ends on a positive note (I think I got the good ending?). And tbh, I've got a lot of mixed feelings about the story as a whole but that's probably good. I think you successfully explored this idea without romanticizing it but also without leaning into that 'he's evil and there's that' narrative. So, good job!

Also, as a side note, I really liked the poems! They had a nice flow. ^^

I just finished the helpful route, I'll call it that to not spoil much. To any readers of this comment If you feel like playing this with out being spoiled read on at your own risk. 

Being completely honest I first found this game while looking for yuri/GL games. This game surprised me when I first found it and it surprised me while I was playing it. The description made me question if I wanted to play this, not because to content warnings I've experienced most of them first hand. The thing that made me question was the warning that It would be uncomfortable. The story was as promised uncomfy, yet despite this I didn't feel like I wanted the story to stop. This story lived in the discomfort it created and it explored it with seemingly genuine intrigue. In a lot of ways this game had me reminiscing over one of my favorite books "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson. Although both are highly different from one another. One of the main ways they are similar is they both explore the perspective of the student as they go through a life changing event.  

To put it short I thought it was magnificent. One of the better more realistic depictions of how this type of event occurs. All the while maintaining the balance between story telling and realism for intrigue's sake. The main characters thoughts and actions made sense  and I wasn't left questioning why the main character acted the way they did like in most stories I wander through.  

The only question I had was at the end, Lucie mentioned she was a part of the LGBT+ community or something similar to that. Is it wrong to interpret that as she is gay or bi ?   

This was incredibly hard to play at certain points, but some part of me felt I had to finish it and I'm glad I did. You handled the subject matter with such care I'm impressed. Chloé's thought process was particularly heart wrenching and it hurts to know how many girls have gone through something similar. I recently had a friend I got into a fight with because I couldn't stand to see him involve himself with someone younger and this has only reaffirmed my convictions. Thank you for sharing your work!