Hi, thanks a lot for your amazing comment! The idea that my game and my experience could help someone confirm they're on the aroace spectrum is still mind blowing to me, I couldn't wish for anything more (and yes, fuck Alois lol).
EDIT: On International Ace Day moreover, what a date to remember!
This was beautiful. I don’t know how to word my thoughts properly, I felt a mix of emotions - disgust at what was being described, then anger (I wanted to punch Alois with every reveal of what he did!!), then finally pride upon seeing Jace speak his truth and put it to an end.
I had to take some time to think about what I had just played. It’s THAT powerful. It’s been some time since a game last had me drop everything I was doing and just sit there and think about every scene, every piece of music, and the ending - it made me teary eyed. Just a wonderful visual novel.
I can’t imagine how much courage it must’ve taken for you to write, draw, code, and post this game. Thank you for sharing your story, Chim. <3
Hi Meiri, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I can't deny that this game is quite the emotional ride, haha, and I'm glad it made you go throiugh a lot of emotions!
"It’s been some time since a game last had me drop everything I was doing" OH MY GOD THAT IS TOO SWEET EDFGVRED I MEAN NOT FOR YOU BUT FOR ME TO READ AS A CREATOR EDFGVGFD
And I can't say I made this game without crying too, but I'm glad it's out and from the feedback I received from some players, I know it has helped, and I'm glad! Thanks again for your kind words, they mean the world!
aggghhh I just want to give Jace (and you!!!) such a big hug ;-;
Such a hard topic to face and I'm really proud of you and so grateful to have a game that represents me and my experiences so well despite the hard to digest subject matter. When I first worked out the age difference between them it made me sick to my stomach, god I want to fight alois!!!!!! disgusting man. (╬▔皿▔)╯ It was so frustrating seeing Alois weaponise Jace's sexuality against him, trying to imply that he couldn't possibly be ace because of the sexual acts they had previously engaged with. It's such a common response and happens too often in real life >:( Content aside I was also really impressed by how well rounded and in depth the game felt despite only being 1.2k words & I also really liked how immersive the GUI was too!
I am ace-spectrum (demiromantic ganggg!) and unfortunately have had my own encounters with vile people like Alois in my life. It means a lot to see myself reflected in games, I hope creating this game was a cathartic experience for you!
I'm glad this game helped you feel represented, it really makes fiction all the more powerful. And yes, Alois is disgusting and I'm just glad Jace could stand up to him instead of letting him manipulate him into pursuing this horrifying relationship. Thanks too for sharing your own experience, it's always precious to see my games can speak to people!
And thanks for the more technical aspects haha!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so kindly, I appreciate it!
Asexuality can absolutely be discovered. I discovered it last year, when I was 20. Before that, I thought I was just too sensitive, too immature. But I did my research in February and found out Asexuality is a spectrum; it’s not just one thing.
I read over your devlog, and I’m sorry about what happened to you. You are very brave and this message should be spread to the whole world.
I’m a God fearing woman and I will say this;
If Alois, (both in this game and your real world “Alois”) doesn’t die in jail, he will burn in hell. No one should ever be put through something like that. EVER. Justice will be served.
Hi! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Absolutely, I discovered mine when I was 19, haha, and it gave me the same realisation as Jace: I don't need to force myself to please others because my experience is real and authentic. (Also, you're completely right about asexuality being a spectrum, and I'm part of those who truly encourage the use of the word as an umbrella term, because everyone deserves to put words on their experience).
And thanks for the encouraging words! I just hoped the Aloises I met stopped and realised how bad their actions were, but if not, may justice be served indeed!
*Alois is Calling* *Hangs up* Oh! what a short game!
In all seriousness, even with the subject matter and how awful Alois was it was a really cute, gentle and comforting experience, like a little hug accompanied by a whisper; "It's gonna be ok".
And I can see how it can be really cathartic! As you mentioned It can be difficult to put a clear end to an awful situation.
I Hope your works brings solace to lots of people! and well, hope that things can be better.
And yes, that was the spirit of the game, I didn't want it to be too horrible experience, but instead something empowering and comforting to those who play it! And I'd be happy if one person can feel at least heard by this game.
It makes me so sad to think Jace figured out his asexuality after years of abuse from an awful, AWFUL person. And that he was so ashamed about it that he couldn't confide in anyone... but the way he ended up standing up to Alois and highlighting that, NO, him being asexual doesn't mean anything is wrong with him, is truly POETIC.
I read your devlog as well and I want to say, Chim, you're a really brave and wonderful person and I'm so proud of you for making this game. Putting yourself out there is not easy, especially with a topic that makes you feel so vulnerable, and I can only imagine how heartbreaking and difficult it must have been to write about it. I'm glad that making this game has also been cathartic to you and that your voice could be heard through Jace and through the wonderful descriptions in your narrative. Your writing carries a lot of strength, courage and beauty in the way you express yourself.
I'm with you, we definitely need more representations for people who are constantly silenced and shunned!! I'm looking forward to your NaNoRenO game too.
Hi, Pri, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I'm happy you managed to find the game poetic. It is a shame that Jace had to go through this, but I'm happy you enjoyed him as an assertive character, refusing the narrative according to which he is "broken".
And thanks for the kind words, gosh! It was cathartic and at the same time, quite soft, as if I were covering me with a plaid in an old, damaged chalet in winter: it's still cold, but the plaid brings comfort, haha.
And yes, we need representation, because fiction is true, authentic and powerful. Thanks for creating ace stories, Pri!
And thanks!! Looking forward to FINALLY getting to WWCG on my part (time is of the essence alas).
Chim...I was speechless. Everything about the design of the game was flawless, but the story?
The story hit so close to home it was unreal. I don't feel like sharing that story publicly, though. Just know that Jace is enough. You are enough. Everyone living and breathing their truths are enough. Everyone going through rough times and trying to build courage are enough.
It takes a lot to put yourself first, exactly as the game said, and I have no doubt that this will encourage other people to also take the first step toward the life they deserve.
Hi Snakk, thanks for these very kind words, they truly mean a lot. If it can help one person then I'll be happy. We're all enough, and we all deserve to pave our way to happiness.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GAME, and a truly emotional reflection on asexuality.
I'll comment on the make of the game first. It's beautifully made. I loved the presentation as a Skype-style video call; it's a really clever way of having both characters on screen while making it immersive. I also really like the shifting position of the dialogue bubble; it was immersive and helped communicate who was speaking even without the speaker tag. I really liked the painterly quality to the background and the general purple tones (ace flag~) The sprites are well-rendered, and I especially liked Jace's design. He immediately gave me the impression of a "stressed kid trying to figure himself out" with his two-toned dyed haircut and the bags under his eyes. The music is well-chosen and atmospheric, appropriately melancholic. I really liked the incorporation of the menu into the PC as well! (And for some reason I LOVED the UI sounds? They were so satisfying...)
==SPOILERS (though the game is short, you should really just play it!)==
Jace is a very sympathetic and relatable character. I appreciated how, even though he is "standing up for himself" - he's not all the way there yet. He's uncertain, he's not as firm as he can be. He's still figuring himself out, coming to terms with his identity and his abuse. But at the same time he's absolutely firm about his boundaries.
Alois is, in many ways, despicable - an irredeemable villain (particularly for cheating on his wife and grooming Jace from a young age). However, I appreciated the nuance in his portrayal. Alois IS nice to Jace in some ways, telling Jace how he appreciates him, remarking on his attractiveness, emphasizing that he is there to listen and support. It is these acts of kindness that lead Jace to be kinder/softer to Alois, even now, when the older man DOESN'T deserve it (avoiding crying so as not to bother Alois with his tears; not telling Alois that he groomed him and was a criminal when he WAS). Alois does not act like a villain all the time - and this is what makes him all the more villainous.
From a metaphorical perspective, I also appreciated the presentation of Alois as being much older and a groomer. As the dev mentioned, he represents an allosexual society - the "old establishment" that imposed his own values on Jace, "grooming" him into the thing that Alois wanted - a sexual object. (I also appreciated the fact that Alois grooms Jace from the age of 14 - the age when kids finish puberty and SHOULD start getting interested in "sex" - the age when society begins to bombard them with sexual expectations and imagery.)
The conclusion is a questionably "happy" one, but it is realistic. Alois does not try to understand Jace, not in the slightest. He curses Jace for "leading him on." It's appropriate. In society today, asexuality is something that is not well acknowledged or accepted.
While I have not experienced anything like Jace (or even close to it), as a person on the asexual spectrum I felt very seen in this game, and I really saw my own experience in it. It is difficult, especially as I am not sex-repulsed like other aces (so sometimes I question myself). Seeing Alois invalidate Jace's identity because of his occasional libido was relatable. Oftentimes, I feel the need to "play along" with the sexual gaze of people around me, as a way to feel normal or accepted (perhaps even "validated" as Jace felt). It is not something that BOTHERS me, but I have always felt like I was "playing a role," acting a part because that's the way everyone else is, not being myself. So I really saw myself in Jace, who "acts the part for Alois." I also related to Jace's late realization of his identity; even as an adult, I am still making discoveries about myself. I think that those discoveries can be difficult to accept since you feel like you should have it all figured out.
The reference to Kissing Snow White was ADORABLE (I loved the background), and I think that it communicated something rather meaningful about works of art. I might be biased because I make games myself, but I do like to think that art can present new ideas and sometimes allow you to recognize things in yourself that you didn't see before. Kissing Snow White is an interesting example because it is a very IDEALIZED version of asexuality. The prince and Snow White are both asexual. They both love each other and respect each other's boundaries. And I think that the idealized version can be a meaningful portrayal as well - not just portrayals that depict realistic struggles (as TDBAMHS did). Because Jace played this game and saw a reality in which he COULD be accepted, in which he COULD be recognized - and as a result he gained the courage to express his identity and draw boundaries with his abuser. His world is ugly; it doesn't have the beautiful ending that Kissing Snow White does. And I think that's realistic. Oftentimes fiction has a clean, pretty ending - it's not as complicated as real life. But it can still be meaningful.
While TDOTS is still my favorite from you artistically, I can say that this is my favorite on an emotional level! You are much stronger now; thank you for letting the world know, and thank you for making this game.
Oh my, such a lengthy thoughtful comment! I'll first thank you for playing the game and sharing your thoughts, and then try to organise my thoughts to avoid giving a chaotic answer defvgbfredfvg
I'm glad you appreciated the technical aspects of the game, I tried to put some thoughts to make it PC-like without making it too complicated haha, and I'm glad you enjoyed the art!
(Spoilers below starting now for anyone reading this)
Your analysis of the dynamic between the character is nothing short of excellent, that's exactly it: in the same vein as Matthieu from HSL, from whom Alois is inspired from, Alois isn't a demon, evil for the sake of being evil. But as Chloé's teacher, he refuses to see the consequences of his own actions (although Matthieu did see his actions were bad, while Alois doesn't). However, he's still causing objective harm to a person he groomed as a minor, and displays a manipulative attitude.
I wanted the ending to feel optimistic but, indeed, not idealistic: for example, if Jace doesn't call Alois a groomer, it's not only out of pity for him, but also because he doesn't fully realise it was grooming. To him, he's just cutting ties to a guy who's made him feel uncomfortable as he never respected his consent, and he finds weird that he got interested in him when he was fourteen. In my case, I only put the word "grooming" on this situation last year. So, I agree, and the contrast with Kissing Snow-White, which you analysed, is interesting, because it was the point: all Jace's problems won't be solved thanks to a flower in his hair, but it can give him hope. I guess that is my answer to proshippers etc., claiming that the point of fiction is to create things beyond the realm of morality because it's just fiction and not real: I argue that, instead, fiction can reflect real experiences, and even a fairy tale can empower someone to open their eyes to the lack of respect of their boundaries. So I'd argue that fiction and creation in general are powerful, and it's what makes it beautiful, so it has to be handled with care and not support things like child grooming (such such being exemplified by proshipping for example dergvrf).
Also, thanks for sharing your experience, I always value this a lot and I'm glad you felt seen in Jace.
And geez, that's high praise to conclude! I'm happy you "enjoyed" it that much! Once again, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I cherish it a lot.
I know I say this probably every time. And it's true every time.
But this feels like it hit even harder.
When the words "...is just an upload away" came on the screen the tears just started running down my cheeks...
This was a beautiful game. Tragic and heartbreaking but so full of hope and empowerment at the end that it made my heart swell so much I felt like I couldn't breathe.
As I was playing and weeping for Jace, all my own struggles leading to my own ace discovery and the person who broke my heart and soul to get me there were like, running rampant through my brain. And then to see Jace at the end finally say those things. Finally push and fight back. Finally break free. And then when the call ended and showed the sweet desktop and those final words. It was like discovering myself all over again and finding that understanding and hope and it just really hit me hard.
Thank you for making this.
You are so powerful for making this.
I feel like this not only speaks to so many ace people out there but also every person who's ever stood up to an abuser (and to those who might not yet have the strength to).
This was beautiful and impactful in a way that I have a hard time putting words to, so you might have to forgive me that my comment seems a bit shorter than usual but it's only because my words aren't really wording right now 💦
Game dev. Telling our stories. Creating worlds of hope for ourselves and others really can help us come to terms with ourselves and our lives and our pasts. And to connect with others that might also need to hear those types of stories. Sometimes it is just an upload away...
erftgr't I SHOULD BE USED TO IT AT THIS POINT AND SOMEHOW I STILL FEEL KINDA BAD BUT ALSO KINDA SATISFIED BUT I AM STILL SO SORRY
And don't worry about the length, it's already quite long and I get that sometimes, after playing a game, you're not in the mindset to comment on the GUI efrvgdrg
You have no idea how the "is just an upload away" made me cry during development, it felt so heavy a conclusion to me as, well, we both know the journey of an ace person to self-discovery and how fiction can help us create the representation and bring the empowerment we struggled to find by ourselves efrvgfrf
And thanks! It wasn't an easy game to make, but I felt like I could say something powerful to many people, and yet sweet and optimistic because I firmly believe that things can get better, even after traumatic experiences. And if my game can fill the heart of one struggling person with this sort of hope, then I'm happy.
"Game dev. Telling our stories. Creating worlds of hope for ourselves and others really can help us come to terms with ourselves and our lives and our pasts. And to connect with others that might also need to hear those types of stories. Sometimes it is just an upload away..." -> You said it all. Life is truly wonderful.
(also, thanks for playing and sharing your thoughts, I cherish it a lot as usual defdfg)
CHIM??? HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CRY AT **GLANCES AT CLOCK* 2:48 PM???
This was such a beautiful game. Alois is absolutely despicable (and that's putting it lightly), I seriously wanted to throw him into the sun. Whenever he tried to gaslight or manipulate Jace, my heart broke for the latter. If this was just ONE DAY of their "relationship", I can only imagine how harrowing the past six years have been for Jace.
When Jace stood up for himself, I was clapping and yelling at my screen saying "LET'S FUCKING GO JACE!!!!" It was such a powerful moment for both the player and Jace to see him get out of this. And the fact he told Alois that he's not broken because he's asexual??? YESSS. YOU TELL HIM JACE!!!
I read your devlog and I want to say this: I am so proud of Jace AND YOU. It takes so much strength to get yourself out of these situations, and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to deal with the trauma that follows. I'm so happy you're here and that you're making games, Chim.
Wonderful job as always. <3
P.S. JACE BEING DEMIROMANTIC??? My ace demiromantic heart is soaring.
EFRGTGRF IS THERE GOOD HOUR FOR CRYING FVGBFVBG (you had no idea how HARD it was making this game, and how the ending made me cry several times during development fvgbgvcrfvgbtfr)
To focus on the narrative portion, I'm glad you rooted for Jace and hated Alois lol. I felt like it was important for Jace to be a bit assertive as I didn't want this game to just be depressing but also empowering (as this dialogue, which was internal in my case, really was to me, and changed my life)?
And thanks for the kind words about Jace and me, haha. If anything, I firmly believe we can overcome this sort of experiences and find a way to help others - games, or any sort of artistic creation, is a way to achieve this!
(AND YES, I REALISED THIS YEAR ON THE FIRST DAY OF PRIDE MONTH THAT I WAS DEMIROMANTIC TOO DCFVGRF so now let's go, there's a bit of you in Jace too!!)
Comments
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This was nice. I liked it. Really confirmed that I am indeed in the aroace spectrum. Noice. Also fuck you Alois, in a bad “go to jail” kind of way.
Hi, thanks a lot for your amazing comment! The idea that my game and my experience could help someone confirm they're on the aroace spectrum is still mind blowing to me, I couldn't wish for anything more (and yes, fuck Alois lol).
EDIT: On International Ace Day moreover, what a date to remember!
YEAHH INTERNATIONAL ACE DAY!!! Got this in my recommended page, so I like to think it was fate :3
Found this game by chance. Thanks for making my night here! I don't have a lot of words to express but it is so wonderful to stand up to an abuser!
Hi, thanks for leaving such a word! I'm glad you enjoyed the experience!
This was beautiful. I don’t know how to word my thoughts properly, I felt a mix of emotions - disgust at what was being described, then anger (I wanted to punch Alois with every reveal of what he did!!), then finally pride upon seeing Jace speak his truth and put it to an end.
I had to take some time to think about what I had just played. It’s THAT powerful. It’s been some time since a game last had me drop everything I was doing and just sit there and think about every scene, every piece of music, and the ending - it made me teary eyed. Just a wonderful visual novel.
I can’t imagine how much courage it must’ve taken for you to write, draw, code, and post this game. Thank you for sharing your story, Chim. <3
Hi Meiri, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I can't deny that this game is quite the emotional ride, haha, and I'm glad it made you go throiugh a lot of emotions!
"It’s been some time since a game last had me drop everything I was doing" OH MY GOD THAT IS TOO SWEET EDFGVRED I MEAN NOT FOR YOU BUT FOR ME TO READ AS A CREATOR EDFGVGFD
And I can't say I made this game without crying too, but I'm glad it's out and from the feedback I received from some players, I know it has helped, and I'm glad! Thanks again for your kind words, they mean the world!
aggghhh I just want to give Jace (and you!!!) such a big hug ;-;
Such a hard topic to face and I'm really proud of you and so grateful to have a game that represents me and my experiences so well despite the hard to digest subject matter.
When I first worked out the age difference between them it made me sick to my stomach, god I want to fight alois!!!!!! disgusting man. (╬▔皿▔)╯
It was so frustrating seeing Alois weaponise Jace's sexuality against him, trying to imply that he couldn't possibly be ace because of the sexual acts they had previously engaged with. It's such a common response and happens too often in real life >:(
Content aside I was also really impressed by how well rounded and in depth the game felt despite only being 1.2k words & I also really liked how immersive the GUI was too!
I am ace-spectrum (demiromantic ganggg!) and unfortunately have had my own encounters with vile people like Alois in my life. It means a lot to see myself reflected in games, I hope creating this game was a cathartic experience for you!
Keep it up, Chim! Another amazing game <3
Aaaah, thanks Tief, that's sweet!
I'm glad this game helped you feel represented, it really makes fiction all the more powerful. And yes, Alois is disgusting and I'm just glad Jace could stand up to him instead of letting him manipulate him into pursuing this horrifying relationship. Thanks too for sharing your own experience, it's always precious to see my games can speak to people!
And thanks for the more technical aspects haha!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts so kindly, I appreciate it!
Powerful, Beautiful message.
Asexuality can absolutely be discovered. I discovered it last year, when I was 20. Before that, I thought I was just too sensitive, too immature. But I did my research in February and found out Asexuality is a spectrum; it’s not just one thing.
I read over your devlog, and I’m sorry about what happened to you. You are very brave and this message should be spread to the whole world.
I’m a God fearing woman and I will say this;
If Alois, (both in this game and your real world “Alois”) doesn’t die in jail, he will burn in hell. No one should ever be put through something like that. EVER. Justice will be served.
“It’s only one click away.”
Good job.
Hi! Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Absolutely, I discovered mine when I was 19, haha, and it gave me the same realisation as Jace: I don't need to force myself to please others because my experience is real and authentic. (Also, you're completely right about asexuality being a spectrum, and I'm part of those who truly encourage the use of the word as an umbrella term, because everyone deserves to put words on their experience).
And thanks for the encouraging words! I just hoped the Aloises I met stopped and realised how bad their actions were, but if not, may justice be served indeed!
*Alois is Calling* *Hangs up* Oh! what a short game!
In all seriousness, even with the subject matter and how awful Alois was it was a really cute, gentle and comforting experience, like a little hug accompanied by a whisper; "It's gonna be ok".
And I can see how it can be really cathartic! As you mentioned It can be difficult to put a clear end to an awful situation.
I Hope your works brings solace to lots of people! and well, hope that things can be better.
Wow, you speedran the game!!
And yes, that was the spirit of the game, I didn't want it to be too horrible experience, but instead something empowering and comforting to those who play it! And I'd be happy if one person can feel at least heard by this game.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Taumi!
This was such a wonderful, heartbreaking game...
It makes me so sad to think Jace figured out his asexuality after years of abuse from an awful, AWFUL person. And that he was so ashamed about it that he couldn't confide in anyone... but the way he ended up standing up to Alois and highlighting that, NO, him being asexual doesn't mean anything is wrong with him, is truly POETIC.
I read your devlog as well and I want to say, Chim, you're a really brave and wonderful person and I'm so proud of you for making this game. Putting yourself out there is not easy, especially with a topic that makes you feel so vulnerable, and I can only imagine how heartbreaking and difficult it must have been to write about it. I'm glad that making this game has also been cathartic to you and that your voice could be heard through Jace and through the wonderful descriptions in your narrative. Your writing carries a lot of strength, courage and beauty in the way you express yourself.
I'm with you, we definitely need more representations for people who are constantly silenced and shunned!! I'm looking forward to your NaNoRenO game too.
Sending you lots of hugs, Chim!! ❤️
Hi, Pri, thanks for sharing your thoughts! I'm happy you managed to find the game poetic. It is a shame that Jace had to go through this, but I'm happy you enjoyed him as an assertive character, refusing the narrative according to which he is "broken".
And thanks for the kind words, gosh! It was cathartic and at the same time, quite soft, as if I were covering me with a plaid in an old, damaged chalet in winter: it's still cold, but the plaid brings comfort, haha.
And yes, we need representation, because fiction is true, authentic and powerful. Thanks for creating ace stories, Pri!
And thanks!! Looking forward to FINALLY getting to WWCG on my part (time is of the essence alas).
Chim...I was speechless. Everything about the design of the game was flawless, but the story?
The story hit so close to home it was unreal. I don't feel like sharing that story publicly, though. Just know that Jace is enough. You are enough. Everyone living and breathing their truths are enough. Everyone going through rough times and trying to build courage are enough.
It takes a lot to put yourself first, exactly as the game said, and I have no doubt that this will encourage other people to also take the first step toward the life they deserve.
Hi Snakk, thanks for these very kind words, they truly mean a lot. If it can help one person then I'll be happy. We're all enough, and we all deserve to pave our way to happiness.
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL GAME, and a truly emotional reflection on asexuality.
I'll comment on the make of the game first. It's beautifully made. I loved the presentation as a Skype-style video call; it's a really clever way of having both characters on screen while making it immersive. I also really like the shifting position of the dialogue bubble; it was immersive and helped communicate who was speaking even without the speaker tag. I really liked the painterly quality to the background and the general purple tones (ace flag~) The sprites are well-rendered, and I especially liked Jace's design. He immediately gave me the impression of a "stressed kid trying to figure himself out" with his two-toned dyed haircut and the bags under his eyes. The music is well-chosen and atmospheric, appropriately melancholic. I really liked the incorporation of the menu into the PC as well! (And for some reason I LOVED the UI sounds? They were so satisfying...)
==SPOILERS (though the game is short, you should really just play it!)==
Jace is a very sympathetic and relatable character. I appreciated how, even though he is "standing up for himself" - he's not all the way there yet. He's uncertain, he's not as firm as he can be. He's still figuring himself out, coming to terms with his identity and his abuse. But at the same time he's absolutely firm about his boundaries.
Alois is, in many ways, despicable - an irredeemable villain (particularly for cheating on his wife and grooming Jace from a young age). However, I appreciated the nuance in his portrayal. Alois IS nice to Jace in some ways, telling Jace how he appreciates him, remarking on his attractiveness, emphasizing that he is there to listen and support. It is these acts of kindness that lead Jace to be kinder/softer to Alois, even now, when the older man DOESN'T deserve it (avoiding crying so as not to bother Alois with his tears; not telling Alois that he groomed him and was a criminal when he WAS). Alois does not act like a villain all the time - and this is what makes him all the more villainous.
From a metaphorical perspective, I also appreciated the presentation of Alois as being much older and a groomer. As the dev mentioned, he represents an allosexual society - the "old establishment" that imposed his own values on Jace, "grooming" him into the thing that Alois wanted - a sexual object. (I also appreciated the fact that Alois grooms Jace from the age of 14 - the age when kids finish puberty and SHOULD start getting interested in "sex" - the age when society begins to bombard them with sexual expectations and imagery.)
The conclusion is a questionably "happy" one, but it is realistic. Alois does not try to understand Jace, not in the slightest. He curses Jace for "leading him on." It's appropriate. In society today, asexuality is something that is not well acknowledged or accepted.
While I have not experienced anything like Jace (or even close to it), as a person on the asexual spectrum I felt very seen in this game, and I really saw my own experience in it. It is difficult, especially as I am not sex-repulsed like other aces (so sometimes I question myself). Seeing Alois invalidate Jace's identity because of his occasional libido was relatable. Oftentimes, I feel the need to "play along" with the sexual gaze of people around me, as a way to feel normal or accepted (perhaps even "validated" as Jace felt). It is not something that BOTHERS me, but I have always felt like I was "playing a role," acting a part because that's the way everyone else is, not being myself. So I really saw myself in Jace, who "acts the part for Alois." I also related to Jace's late realization of his identity; even as an adult, I am still making discoveries about myself. I think that those discoveries can be difficult to accept since you feel like you should have it all figured out.
The reference to Kissing Snow White was ADORABLE (I loved the background), and I think that it communicated something rather meaningful about works of art. I might be biased because I make games myself, but I do like to think that art can present new ideas and sometimes allow you to recognize things in yourself that you didn't see before. Kissing Snow White is an interesting example because it is a very IDEALIZED version of asexuality. The prince and Snow White are both asexual. They both love each other and respect each other's boundaries. And I think that the idealized version can be a meaningful portrayal as well - not just portrayals that depict realistic struggles (as TDBAMHS did). Because Jace played this game and saw a reality in which he COULD be accepted, in which he COULD be recognized - and as a result he gained the courage to express his identity and draw boundaries with his abuser. His world is ugly; it doesn't have the beautiful ending that Kissing Snow White does. And I think that's realistic. Oftentimes fiction has a clean, pretty ending - it's not as complicated as real life. But it can still be meaningful.
While TDOTS is still my favorite from you artistically, I can say that this is my favorite on an emotional level! You are much stronger now; thank you for letting the world know, and thank you for making this game.
Oh my, such a lengthy thoughtful comment! I'll first thank you for playing the game and sharing your thoughts, and then try to organise my thoughts to avoid giving a chaotic answer defvgbfredfvg
I'm glad you appreciated the technical aspects of the game, I tried to put some thoughts to make it PC-like without making it too complicated haha, and I'm glad you enjoyed the art!
(Spoilers below starting now for anyone reading this)
Your analysis of the dynamic between the character is nothing short of excellent, that's exactly it: in the same vein as Matthieu from HSL, from whom Alois is inspired from, Alois isn't a demon, evil for the sake of being evil. But as Chloé's teacher, he refuses to see the consequences of his own actions (although Matthieu did see his actions were bad, while Alois doesn't). However, he's still causing objective harm to a person he groomed as a minor, and displays a manipulative attitude.
I wanted the ending to feel optimistic but, indeed, not idealistic: for example, if Jace doesn't call Alois a groomer, it's not only out of pity for him, but also because he doesn't fully realise it was grooming. To him, he's just cutting ties to a guy who's made him feel uncomfortable as he never respected his consent, and he finds weird that he got interested in him when he was fourteen. In my case, I only put the word "grooming" on this situation last year.
So, I agree, and the contrast with Kissing Snow-White, which you analysed, is interesting, because it was the point: all Jace's problems won't be solved thanks to a flower in his hair, but it can give him hope. I guess that is my answer to proshippers etc., claiming that the point of fiction is to create things beyond the realm of morality because it's just fiction and not real: I argue that, instead, fiction can reflect real experiences, and even a fairy tale can empower someone to open their eyes to the lack of respect of their boundaries. So I'd argue that fiction and creation in general are powerful, and it's what makes it beautiful, so it has to be handled with care and not support things like child grooming (such such being exemplified by proshipping for example dergvrf).
Also, thanks for sharing your experience, I always value this a lot and I'm glad you felt seen in Jace.
And geez, that's high praise to conclude! I'm happy you "enjoyed" it that much! Once again, thanks for sharing your thoughts, I cherish it a lot.
Chim, I am crying...
I know I say this probably every time. And it's true every time.
But this feels like it hit even harder.
When the words "...is just an upload away" came on the screen the tears just started running down my cheeks...
This was a beautiful game. Tragic and heartbreaking but so full of hope and empowerment at the end that it made my heart swell so much I felt like I couldn't breathe.
As I was playing and weeping for Jace, all my own struggles leading to my own ace discovery and the person who broke my heart and soul to get me there were like, running rampant through my brain. And then to see Jace at the end finally say those things. Finally push and fight back. Finally break free. And then when the call ended and showed the sweet desktop and those final words. It was like discovering myself all over again and finding that understanding and hope and it just really hit me hard.
Thank you for making this.
You are so powerful for making this.
I feel like this not only speaks to so many ace people out there but also every person who's ever stood up to an abuser (and to those who might not yet have the strength to).
This was beautiful and impactful in a way that I have a hard time putting words to, so you might have to forgive me that my comment seems a bit shorter than usual but it's only because my words aren't really wording right now 💦
Game dev. Telling our stories. Creating worlds of hope for ourselves and others really can help us come to terms with ourselves and our lives and our pasts. And to connect with others that might also need to hear those types of stories. Sometimes it is just an upload away...
erftgr't I SHOULD BE USED TO IT AT THIS POINT AND SOMEHOW I STILL FEEL KINDA BAD BUT ALSO KINDA SATISFIED BUT I AM STILL SO SORRY
And don't worry about the length, it's already quite long and I get that sometimes, after playing a game, you're not in the mindset to comment on the GUI efrvgdrg
You have no idea how the "is just an upload away" made me cry during development, it felt so heavy a conclusion to me as, well, we both know the journey of an ace person to self-discovery and how fiction can help us create the representation and bring the empowerment we struggled to find by ourselves efrvgfrf
And thanks! It wasn't an easy game to make, but I felt like I could say something powerful to many people, and yet sweet and optimistic because I firmly believe that things can get better, even after traumatic experiences. And if my game can fill the heart of one struggling person with this sort of hope, then I'm happy.
"Game dev. Telling our stories. Creating worlds of hope for ourselves and others really can help us come to terms with ourselves and our lives and our pasts. And to connect with others that might also need to hear those types of stories. Sometimes it is just an upload away..." -> You said it all. Life is truly wonderful.
(also, thanks for playing and sharing your thoughts, I cherish it a lot as usual defdfg)
CHIM??? HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CRY AT **GLANCES AT CLOCK* 2:48 PM???
This was such a beautiful game. Alois is absolutely despicable (and that's putting it lightly), I seriously wanted to throw him into the sun. Whenever he tried to gaslight or manipulate Jace, my heart broke for the latter. If this was just ONE DAY of their "relationship", I can only imagine how harrowing the past six years have been for Jace.
When Jace stood up for himself, I was clapping and yelling at my screen saying "LET'S FUCKING GO JACE!!!!" It was such a powerful moment for both the player and Jace to see him get out of this. And the fact he told Alois that he's not broken because he's asexual??? YESSS. YOU TELL HIM JACE!!!
I read your devlog and I want to say this: I am so proud of Jace AND YOU. It takes so much strength to get yourself out of these situations, and I can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must be to deal with the trauma that follows. I'm so happy you're here and that you're making games, Chim.
Wonderful job as always. <3
P.S. JACE BEING DEMIROMANTIC??? My ace demiromantic heart is soaring.
EFRGTGRF IS THERE GOOD HOUR FOR CRYING FVGBFVBG (you had no idea how HARD it was making this game, and how the ending made me cry several times during development fvgbgvcrfvgbtfr)
To focus on the narrative portion, I'm glad you rooted for Jace and hated Alois lol. I felt like it was important for Jace to be a bit assertive as I didn't want this game to just be depressing but also empowering (as this dialogue, which was internal in my case, really was to me, and changed my life)?
And thanks for the kind words about Jace and me, haha. If anything, I firmly believe we can overcome this sort of experiences and find a way to help others - games, or any sort of artistic creation, is a way to achieve this!
(AND YES, I REALISED THIS YEAR ON THE FIRST DAY OF PRIDE MONTH THAT I WAS DEMIROMANTIC TOO DCFVGRF so now let's go, there's a bit of you in Jace too!!)